Job, career, money, supporting yourself. What? Whaaaat? I freelance and make a fair amount of money for a few hours instead of a little amount of money for a lot of hours, and I end up making very little money, and working few hours. Last night I figured out that either way I would make very little money. So I could make the same money working a little or working a lot. If I’m guilty or unhappy with the amount of money I make, then I can remind myself that either way I make very little money, so making a change will lead to the same not much money but it will be different work that I don’t like? Or do I?
I have found work that I love doing. I like to go do it. It makes me feel like my life is worth while to do work I like. But I always come back to, “what work can I be doing?” In 1976 I wondered this, and every year until 1990 when I had my first son and then every year since 1998. So that’s 14 years plus 16 years is 30 years of every year wondering, “what work can I be doing?” And my real goal, which I knew, was to not work. Hunh.
Glad I figured out last night that I would make the same measly amount with lots or little hours and I should carry on making measly amount with little hours since it is closer, far closer, to my life goals of working little and enjoying the work. Bottom line: I’m grateful that I found work I love that I can do and make the same money in little hours as if I worked lots of hours.